


Part of That

by Gleaminginthespotlight



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Cute Ending, F/M, more a character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28056642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gleaminginthespotlight/pseuds/Gleaminginthespotlight
Summary: You're twelve when your mama and Abuela realize too many memories are here, and they pick up and leave. You nod your head as they tell you about this new place. As they tell you about new opportunities and of new places filled with wonder. New things for you to do.  Maybe you're lucky that you moved away from this small town when you were younger. Moved to a place with more people, more sights to see, and more opportunities for heartbreak to hit you when you did. Here you learn how to fight. You don't get into too many, but you know that people think you'll fight back. Something you can never see yourself doing. You learn slowly to not want to give so much anymore. Because people learn to take that and use it to their advantage against you. And you wish there was less pain as you hear your mama's sobs on events that happened on the news. And you wonder, what happened for all of this to be deserved. She sits you down and explains all you need to do to keep going.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	Part of That

There was something about living in a small town when you were younger that makes it so you never want to go back. Something about how each moment relates to you more & more than the last moment you've passed. There's something about the subtle sighs that the wind can bring that makes you wonder why you left, and then it strikes and you realize truly what happened. Those memories, those things that pass you are the reason behind your leaving. The way the littlest things you pass make you think of the reasons you had to stay. Yet, there's nothing there now. You had a lifetime of achievements here. And somehow each memory comes back stronger and stronger. 

From the creek in Mr. Johnson's chair on his front porch. To the way, you could hear the wind howling in the distance as the wind would blow colder and colder. You'd remember days spent when you were little. Where the only thing you had to worry about was yourself. Now as you're getting older and older you look around the room you wonder where all your innocent youth went. There's something about being back here for a case these times that strikes you a little more and more. You know this place, you know it like the back of your hand, and yet it seems right now. All you can think about is the things you didn't see. The things that happened when the sun went down. There's something about the dimly lit lights of the local dive bar that make you think of whiskey coated dreams. You think of the times you could have gone dancing. But you moved before you were able to. Something you don't regret. It wasn't as if you were a rebellious child when you were younger. Didn't see yourself sneaking out of the house. 

You think of the silly childhood crushes you had. How each one made you feel a little brighter and bolder. From the kisses on slides during recess to the weddings you'd have down by the lakes. You remember your grandmother drinking a bottle of cheap rum as she watched you and your siblings run around. Your heart had been borrowed by each of these memories. Each person took a little more from you. And it should have left you with nothing left, but instead, you kept finding more and more ways to give. You kept finding more and more ways to want to change the world around you. You remember getting invites for the baptisms in this small town, and you remember getting invites to basketball games. Things you felt like you wouldn't fit in at. But you went anyway, there must have been a reason for you to get invited. Your mama always told you were one of those kids, one of the ones that overwatered everything because you didn't know when to stop giving. And maybe that's the truth. Because you still find yourself hanging on to the little memories. To the little things you regret. You collected soda caps from this town, you collected rocks and sand from the shore. Because everything needed to have a place. Just as every person did. 

You're twelve when your mama and Abuela realize too many memories are here, and they pick up and leave. You nod your head as they tell you about this new place. As they tell you about new opportunities and of new places filled with wonder. New things for you to do. Maybe you're lucky that you moved away from this small town when you were younger. Moved to a place with more people, more sights to see, and more opportunities for heartbreak to hit you when you did. Here you learn how to fight. You don't get into too many, but you know that people think you'll fight back. Something you can never see yourself doing. You learn slowly to not want to give so much anymore. Because people learn to take that and use it to their advantage against you. And you wish there was less pain as you hear your mama's sobs on events that happened on the news. And you wonder, what happened for all of this to be deserved. She sits you down and explains all you need to do to keep going. 

There's something about you that wants to pick your battles before they pick you. And maybe you feel luckier and luckier, or less and less dependent on the situation at the way things have changed. You've never been a fan of things burning slowly, but as you sit there at the kitchen table, you wish it would take it's time for things to move on. You don't think you're ready for change. But as you sit there you witness your sisters getting their first boyfriends. You witness their first heartbreaks. And you witness your Abuela getting remarried. He's an ex-marine and has stories for ages. And this makes your heart soar because your family feels happy for the first time in the longest times. Long story short, you've survived this far and it feels good to keep going. You remain that knowledge that good things are happening and find the strength to give and give again. He makes you want to be a better person. Because if he's good enough for your Abuela. He's good enough for you. 

On your graduation day, the thing that your eyes are stuck on are your dad’s eyes. He showed up, and you don't know what to do. You were taught not to get lost in the petty things, but idea after idea pass through your head. You feel like you're trapped in this gaze as you throw your cap. And the saddest thing, he doesn’t say anything more than just saying a quick “good job” and handing you a card. You don't know what you're expecting, but more than this is what you're expecting, and in a way you think this is the thing you need, you think this is the closure you’ve been waiting for. And yet somehow it isn’t. You notice he has a wedding ring on his finger, a new one. So with this, you can expect a new life for him, where he moved on and found something new. Away from you and all that happened. He and your mom offer a stiff nod in each other's directions. And you think for a second that you’d rather not feel anything than feel all of this. You hear some of the boys who graduated with you ask him stories about his time in the army because they see him as a hero, and though he is. Your heart feels heavy because he was supposed to be your hero… and that didn't happen. 78 days later you're in the Army base camp preparing to leave for Afghanistan and soon enough you’re there. The cocky nature you had gained as a child through moving into a bigger city has gone away as you're turned into a stranger you can't recognize. The war is a scary place and you see more and more death than ever imaginable. You still write to home, and maybe that’s the thing that's keeping you hanging on. 

Your next job isn't the safest and you aren't sure why you're sticking around, but working as an FBI fugitive task force is how you find yourself seeing more death than you would have liked, and you aren't sure how to feel about all of this. Soon enough your sisters are getting married and you take a day or two off to attend their weddings. It's not until now that you realize that you answer the questions from your new brothers in law. “Are you planning on settling down?” to which you shake your head and respond with “nobody would want this kind of life. I couldn't ask anyone to live this with me.” you'd love to get married, love to have little ones for your mom to spoil, but you find yourself stuck. 

The BAU came with different challenges than the last few jobs. But this time it seems as if you have someone there to talk about it with while trying to gain her friendship. You found yourself falling in love with her, and you didn't realize this. Sure the job isn’t easy. It seems as if these things never are. But you really do feel as if with everything, you are one of the lucky ones. This job puts things into perspective for you. You might not have stayed in the same place for a long time, but this time. It feels like home. 

You had fallen in love once or twice before, each time you were filled with hope for the idea it would last, but you were never disappointed when it ended. Something in you knew that it wasn't meant to be, and if it was you would have found them again. You still weren't someone who thought you would ever get married, not someone who thought someone needed to have this lifestyle. Share it with you. But with Penelope, she made everything easy. And that was all you could ask for. She was used to your lifestyle, sharing a part of that. And every moment since then, your thoughts went back to her.

As you finish your story, the woman sitting next to you holds your hand. She's the crack of light you had been waiting for. Since the day you met her you knew there was something special. You knew there was something incredible about this story being in the making. You're holding onto your breath as she pulls away from a chaste kiss. One day you'll tell the story about the man who couldn't be moved and how he was moved. A funny story you wouldn't have believed if it hasn't been yours. This woman sitting next to you doesn't put your nightmares against you, she doesn't care if you fell down the rabbit hole because she would be there next to you in wonderland the entire time. She would be Alice if you found yourself lost there. Maybe this would be the story where Peter didn't lose Wendy and the two became happy. Something about her entirety knocks you off your feet even when you first met her. You were scared to admit those feelings at first and it looks as if she was too. You meet her lips one more time and you don't care if her lipstick rubs off on you because you're hers for the evening. And this is where you want to be. Penelope Garcia is a story you're more than happy to have a chapter at least featured in. And she definitely has a chapter or five dedicated to her in the book of Luke Alvez. The same book that you know has been stained with wine one too many times. The same one you're sure if it were real would have a cracked spine and ripped pages.

She looks up at you though as you're sitting on the floor of your apartment. A blanket sitting under you as you sit by candlelight. Your power went out during your date and it doesn't seem like she seems to mind. Her head is sitting on your shoulders, and she has you wrapped around her finger. All of this happens as she looks up at you and you swear something about your heart is ready to beat out of your chest. 

**_'Everything happens for a reason.'_ ** you remind yourself. And something about your heart is ready to break from its cage. She was just like you in the way that she gives and gives without expecting. And you notice that she's giving her heart to you. And you feel bright. If she knew you in high school, would you two have found your way to each other? If you knew her from that small town? You think in a way you would always find your way back to her.

"Want to tell me another story?" She asks you and you play with a piece of her blonde hair. You did, you wanted to tell her the story of the blonde girl made out of stardust and the broken boy who found her. You wanted to tell her the story of the girl with lips made from cherries that slowly made you go deeper and deeper. About the eyes that shone brighter and brighter as each day passed. You wanted to tell her about the world you had known before you and how she made your winter living turn into spring. He hated whenever people said that their life was fixed when their partner came along. But this was the case. You would be sure that down the road she would have made such a lovely bride. And you're sure your grandparents would feel the same way. But you knew she had an idea of what that story would be like. Because she's living in it. And something about you makes you want to close the book and just enjoy this story for the longest time. 

**_Because even if you met her when you were younger_ **

**_Even if you met her when you were less damaged_ **

**_Somehow things would come back to her._ **

**Author's Note:**

> This is something completely different than what I'm used to writing for, I'll be honest on that front. But I'm really hoping that you all enjoyed this. I originally had this as a prologue for the starter for a multi-chapter fic I had been writing. Instead, though I decided to keep this as a simple one-shot type thing.


End file.
